I think the title says it all really. lol.
He’s here in like 6 days. This time next week he’ll be here. Christ the night, I am wetting myself!!
Haha, not in a bad way, in a really really good way. But there’s fear as well as excitement. I’m really looking forward to him being here and to seeing him and holding him, but I know he has to leave, and that’s what’s making me want to hide. It was crap when I came home and I was missing him millions, like my heart was breaking because he wasn’t with me any longer, and I’m scared that it’s going to happen again. In fact I’m not scared it’s going to happen again, I know it’s going to happen again.
God I love him so much, and whenever you love someone like that, like they are a part of you, you never want that feeling to go away. You never want the laughing to stop, or the hugs to go away, and you never want to be without them for a day let alone months on end.
And that’s the thing about a long distance relationship, you have to deal with the fact that you never get to see the person you love. You have to spend so long apart, and when you get together again, the occasion is marred with the thoughts of one of you leaving. And I’m worried as well that things won’t be the same. Like, maybe with the fact that all we have is talking, that we’ll run out of words. That we won’t have anything to talk about. I dunno, I’m possibly just talking crap as usual.
And then there’s the fact that he’s coming here. And the fact that it makes me smile like a child at Christmas every time I think about it. That I have butterflies in my stomach at the thought of meeting him at the airport, and just getting to be held again. To be all wrapped up in him for two weeks when I can block out the rest of the world and when nothing else matters.
You know when you watch a movie and the lead characters kiss, and everything around them melts away, like they’re the only people in the whole world? That’s what it feels like every time I kiss him. When he pulls me across the bed just to wrap his arms around me and won’t let me go. Those are the times I never want to end.
Luckily for me, the wanting to be happy part overrides the fear of being sad lol, so I’m super excited about him being here no matter what.
I have a lot to do this week UGH. lol. Working Monday to Friday as usual, but on the early shift so it’s 8.00am – 4.30pm which will make life easier. I need to call into Belfast in the evening, one to get my eyebrows waxed (was meant to go at the weekend, but it was too expensive) and to fax off a letter to my phone insurance people for what is looking to be a large rebate of monies paid
Then I have to go down to Mum’s on Thurs night, to see if Nicky can do my hair for me, and then I’m staying at Mum’s on Friday night as well. There doesn’t seem a point in coming home when he lands in Dublin at 7.45am which means we’ll need to leave Whitehead at about 5.30am. Fun, fun, fun!! hahaha
So that leaves me the remainder of today and Tues and Wed nights to get this place sorted out, and Claire heads away on holiday tomorrow afternoon, so I can’t really do too much today :S lol. But there are some things that can be done, such as laundry and hoovering and getting my room sorted out a bit. So I don’t really mind if I have to give the rest of the rooms a quick going over before I head down to mum’s. there’s just too much to do!! I have to pack a bag for mum’s as well, and I need to put thought into it this time too lol, simply because I have a day of work and then picking him up the next day.
So excited!!!! I just hope that this week doesn’t drag too much. And do you know what’s really weird? His first flight is at 4.40pm his time, which means that it’s at 9.40pm my time. SO.. not only do I have to go an evening without talking to him (hehehe), it’s peculiar that it only takes so little time to get here!! For him it will feel longer because he’s travelling forward in time (but not in a Delorian) but for me it won’t feel that long. All i have to do is fall asleep and when I wake up he’ll be here, which is kinda like a dream. Not in the omg this is like a dream having him here, but in the sense that when I dream about him and it feels like he’s with me when I wake up, and now he really, really will be!!! EEEEEEEEE!
Ok, I’m getting myself all overexcited here lol, I have to stop and actually go and try and do something constructive, like getting Claire out of bed to make food. Ha!
I know you’ll be reading this when you’re in work Mr. Pacer, so I thought I’d mention that I love you (like that wasn’t plainly obvious already) and don’t be getting all misty eyed in work over this post, because you’ll be here soon enough and you can be misty eyed all you want
And I’d like to end with a couple of quotes from knowledgeable people, which make me smile and reinforce the fact that this relationship is worth a million days missing you just to be able to see you for one.Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
“Pooh!” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.” ~A.A. Milne (no one else will get this
)
Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. ~Emily Brontë
And one more
You know it is love when you want to share everything with her, even her pain. You know it is love when you can’t stop thinking about her. You know it is love when you’d rather be in a relationship but apart than not in a relationship at all. But, most of all, you know it is love when your happiness is dependant upon hers. – Robert LeBranch
Talk to ya soon
x x x